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It begins as a way to escape from the reality,
One night of fun with friends, which I never want to end,
Then the next day, and the next,
No more tears, no more sorrow, no more sadness,
Just more smiles, laughs and a good night sleep.
It takes on a new form, a new bond that becomes a relationship,
I begin to depend on it, it always makes me feel better,
The more I take, the better I feel, I smile more,
My heart grows numb, my mind forgets more, it feels different,
Different is good, different is not the past, different is not the reality.
It soothes the pain, sometimes I drown it, sometimes I suffocate it,
It keeps it down, away from my eyes and my mind,
I live like it never happened, like I have no hurt, no pain, no wounds,
This new person is happy, strong and confident,
And so I continue, swig after swig, dose after dose.
Anything to keep the past away from the present,
Anything to block the tears from welling up in my eyes,
Anything to forget the memory of you,
Anything to run away from the guilt and shame of what I did,
Anything just to be happy, even for a moment.
This is not an addiction, it is a support system, it is a relationship I need.
And so, the party continues!!!
nairobipoets 